unsettled.

Dear friend,
.........
..................

Lots of Love,
Fie


I weep as I wrote my last sentence for the Chapter.I took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh.hmmmm....

Enough of throwing myself into an emotinal battlefield in the sincere means of trying to make someone else feel better and be sensitive abt the people ard me, I always end up losing and broken in shards. Each time I do that I slowly waver. I don’t wanna waver.I dont.

Sometimes you end up hurting yourself so bad in the process of trying to make someone who matters to you, understand the reasons for your certain takes and actions. I used to think that it is important for me to let them see it the way I see it in order to avoid incessant misunderstandings, but up to recently, my thoughts have meandered to a different course and I am beginning to apprehend that such actions are almost unnecessary. I honestly think that I’m not answerable to your every inquisition.

Sometimes you have to be hard and cold and less apologetic because with some people, it really doesn’t pay to be otherwise. It only takes a toll on you.

And I shall not be too giving with my trust anymore. Not because my privacy or trust have been violated or intruded but they've hurt me in many ways that sometime it came to an extend that i don't think they deserve it anymore.They hurt me too much.But I certain that they don't know it. How could this have happened? Was it because i'm emotionally frail?or was it because i wasn't being direct to them about how i feel?

Maybe i was wrong to make an assumption that my friends should how i feel.I was wrong to say they know me well. I was so wrong about everyone.

As for now..i should jus resign to reality that certain situation should just be left untouched and surrender in the hands of time.



I'm not sorry for whad i've said if it has affected you in anyway.I am not sorry for my act at any level.
If reading this entry made u feel sorry/bad/guilty(or what have you) let me just tell you that,tt's nothing compared to the pain you put me into all this while.